Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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