Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
