I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
