I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
