chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
