If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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