Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
