Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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