she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
