:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
