Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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