Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
