are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Its about making memories worth repressing
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Randomize
