Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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