Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize