I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Randomize
