is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
