shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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