it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
