Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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