Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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