Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Semen is not good for contacts.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
