I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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