white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Little spoons don't ask big questions
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
