i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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