she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
