I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize