Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
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