I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
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