i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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