Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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