Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
my sisters under your porch take her home
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
