I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
