ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
