Don't make out with my wife yet
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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