i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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