Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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