If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
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