Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
