Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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