I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
