Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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