Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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