Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
