shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
