My nipple is on Facebook.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize