dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Man, jail baloney is awful.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize