lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
