all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize