some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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