He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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