Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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