I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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