Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize