Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Just took my morning after pill in the library
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
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