We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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