those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
