Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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