I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
