go do what you do best...puke behind churches
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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