Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize