i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Randomize
