In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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