I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
