Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
