p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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