Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
