Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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