ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
