The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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