We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize