I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
