Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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