i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize